| >1. Who are the prime candidates to rekindle | | | | their children, or manipulations such as |
| a romance?The most successful rekindled | | | | |
| romances were lost lovers who had been 17 or | | | | hiding letters from the sweetheart. When |
| | | | these couples reunited, they were very |
| younger at the time of the initial romance | | | | |
| -- first loves -- and had separated for | | | | bitter and angry at their parents (dead or |
| | | | alive) for costing them many years when |
| situational reasons, like "parents | | | | |
| disapproved," "moved away." "went off to | | | | they could have been happily together. Many |
| college," | | | | missed their childbearing years |
| | | | |
| etc. Age of the couples didn't matter -- if | | | | because of this breakup. And why did the |
| they were 18 or 95, the romance worked | | | | parents react that way? They just "didn't |
| | | | |
| the second time. In fact, the older they | | | | like the person" their child was dating.I |
| were for the reunion, the better their | | | | checked to see how these couples fared a |
| | | | second time; ie, if the parents broke |
| chances of success.>2. Is Lost & Found Love | | | | |
| successful the second time around?Yes! In my | | | | them apart, were the parents "right" and |
| sample of 2000 people worldwide, ages 18 to | | | | they broke up a second time? Half of the |
| 95, 72% of them reported | | | | |
| | | | time, they broke up again, and half of the |
| that they are "still together" with their | | | | time they stayed happily together. And |
| lost and found lover. And these weren't just | | | | |
| | | | they is no way to predict, no way for |
| | | | parents to know what's right for their |
| "good" romances; these were wildly sexual, | | | | children. |
| soul mate reunions. Absence really does | | | | |
| | | | It should make parents think twice before |
| make the heart grow fonder!>3. What if the | | | | they break up first loves.>8. What can |
| couples had been "first loves"?First loves | | | | teenagers learn from this book?I hear from a |
| had the highest "stay together" rate -- 78% | | | | lot of teenagers, males and females, who are |
| are happily reunited, and | | | | broken-hearted because |
| | | | |
| remain blissfully in love over their many | | | | their first loves just "dumped" them. Some |
| years of marriage.>4. Are rekindled romances | | | | say they are suicidal. From my research, |
| more intense than other loves?Yes. I asked | | | | |
| participants to rate the emotional | | | | we learn that these are true loves, |
| involvement of the rekindled | | | | important loves, that should not be |
| | | | belittled. And |
| romance, as compared to all their other | | | | |
| loves in the past, and 71% of them said that | | | | teens should be comforted by the fact that |
| | | | the breakup may not be forever. The first |
| this was their most intense romance of all. | | | | |
| Additionally, 61% of the participants said | | | | love might comes back some day. Don't sit |
| | | | around and wait for that, but keep it in |
| that the rekindled romance started faster | | | | |
| than any other romance in the past, and | | | | the back of your heart as hope for the |
| | | | future.>9. Instead of reconnecting with a |
| that the sexual involvement was the BEST | | | | lost love, what about finding a long lost |
| (63%).>5. Why does rekindled love endure?The | | | | friend?It's really the same thing. In fact, |
| couples grew up together, they spent their | | | | many of my couples really weren't in romances |
| formative years together, and many | | | | the |
| | | | |
| of the first loves reported that the lost | | | | first time. They were just friends -- |
| love became "the standard" for all their | | | | sometimes very young friends, like 8 or 9 |
| other | | | | year |
| | | | |
| romances. They knew each other well - they | | | | olds. The shared roots are the important |
| attended classes together, knew each | | | | part; old friends make us feel comfortable |
| | | | |
| other's families and friends, shared roots | | | | and we can talk about old times. It's very |
| and values. It is these similarities that | | | | healing to reunite.>10. Is there anyone who |
| | | | should avoid seeking a Lost Love?Yes. If one |
| form the strength of the bond. These | | | | or both members of the couple are married to |
| romances are, at their heart, friendships as | | | | someone else. don't go |
| | | | |
| well as romances.>6. Isn't there some | | | | there! Don't even look up the person to say |
| research that suggests that this love might | | | | hello. Even good marriages were put in |
| have a biological | | | | |
| | | | jeopardy by lost loves. The people just |
| component?Yes. Remember that expression used | | | | didn't realize that the feelings come back |
| for teenagers, "ranging hormones?" When | | | | |
| | | | VERY strongly.And if the person was abusive |
| teens are in love for the first time, | | | | in any way the first time, forget a reunion. |
| hormones like oxytocin and vassopressin are | | | | |
| | | | Personalities don't change. The couples in |
| released when the sweethearts are sexually | | | | my study who succeeded with a happy |
| excited. These chemicals form | | | | |
| | | | reunion had been situationally pulled apart |
| emotional memories in the brain, stored in | | | | the first time; they did NOT check the |
| an area called the amygdala. When the | | | | |
| | | | box "we weren't getting along well.">11. |
| lost lovers meet again, those memories are | | | | What is your first piece of advice to anyone |
| released by the familar sight, smell, | | | | who is considering finding a lost |
| | | | |
| touch, sound of the long lost lover. The | | | | love?These are very intense romances. Before |
| feelings are comforting and familiar and | | | | you begin any dialogue with a lost love, ask |
| | | | |
| also very sexually arousing!>7. Why should | | | | yourself if you could handle whatever |
| this book be "required reading" for parents | | | | occurred -- a rejection, a romance, another |
| of adolescents?The most common reason why | | | | |
| these romances broke up the first time was | | | | breakup with that person. If the answer to |
| "parents | | | | any of these is "no," it's best not to try. |
| | | | |
| disapproved." Not only disapproved -- many | | | | But if you are single, divorced, or widowed, |
| of these couples were forcefully | | | | it might be the best thing that ever |
| | | | |
| broken apart by the parents, with threats to | | | | happened to you. |