| I was married the first time (ominous | | | | have blamed them.Now perhaps I just hadn't |
| words...the first time) for 16 years. In | | | | quite hit the buzzer mark for interested |
| retrospect, that marriage probably could have | | | | suitors. Or perhaps there was something they |
| been saved if we'd utilized counseling and | | | | saw in me that made them decide to explore |
| found some great relationship material which | | | | further upon hearing those dreaded words - I |
| may have been published at the time. Ah | | | | spilled them as quickly as I could reasonably |
| well, hindsight.During my dating stint | | | | bring it up in a conversation: |
| post-divorce, some of which was internet | | | | HiMyNameIsLauraI'veBeenDivorcedThreeTimesAndY |
| contact, I communicated with an interesting | | | | ou? Ahem. Whatever it was, I found that no |
| and attractive man. Sooner than later, I | | | | one screamed "Exit, stage left!" and left me |
| learned that he'd been married, and divorced, | | | | standing next to a little poof of smoke. |
| 5 times. Warning, warning. DANGER, flailing | | | | Maybe they were shellshocked too, and unable |
| my arms around in robotic pantomime. I ended | | | | to move?Actually, they asked pertinent |
| that direction in short order. Obviously he | | | | questions regarding my divorces and listened |
| wasn't good relationship material.I married | | | | to my explanations. I was very upfront with |
| again. That relationship of 6 years ended | | | | them concerning what I felt my part was in |
| with his drug usage and an affair. Sometimes | | | | the marriage demises, minus the ad nauseum. I |
| I can be surprisingly dumb for as smart as I | | | | also shared in a general way what I had |
| am? HE only had one divorce behind him. | | | | learned. Dating excursions thus continued |
| Maybe I should have asked Mr. Fiver different | | | | for awhile, with me feeling comfortable that |
| questions.Third marriage. And to my horror, | | | | I wasn't dismissed as a relationship |
| THIRD DIVORCE.I felt shellshocked. And | | | | leper!Ever feel like you're a relationship |
| terribly embarrassed. Memories of my fast | | | | leper? Have you learned from past mistakes |
| judgement of Mr. Fiver came flooding back to | | | | and able to articulate your past in a way |
| me, how quickly I'd axed him without giving | | | | that doesn't frighten prospective |
| him a chance. With three divorces under my | | | | dates?Currently, my (third) ex-husband and I |
| belt, I quailed at the thought of being | | | | have reconciled, and we had our divorce |
| similarly, and immediately, axed without a | | | | annulled. It's as if we were never divorced. |
| chance to prove my good character and | | | | I am very happy that we've resolved the |
| relationship-worthiness. How terribly unfair | | | | problems that led up to our divorce...and |
| that would be. Although I take at least half | | | | relieved that my score card dropped back to |
| the responsibility of my first divorce, nos. | | | | 3-2. Upon that realization came the next |
| 2 and 3 were more the other's fault by a | | | | one: time to retire my score card.Laura |
| landslide. (We'll ignore the fact that I did | | | | McDonald lives in Frankfort, KY, with her |
| waltz myself into those relationships, shall | | | | husband Patrick. She is a paralegal. |
| we? That's a topic for a different | | | | Laura's interests include psychology, movies, |
| article!)I had mental images of "go-see's" in | | | | music, and writing. She has created a |
| front of potential dates. "I've been | | | | website called The Third Wives Club, directed |
| divorced three times," I imagined myself | | | | primarily to women married three or more |
| declaring, and then coughing up their dust as | | | | times. |
| they ran for the hills. Frankly, I wouldn't | | | | |