| I was married the first time (ominous words...the first | | | | perhaps I just hadn't quite hit the buzzer mark for |
| time) for 16 years. In retrospect, that marriage probably | | | | interested suitors. Or perhaps there was something |
| could have been saved if we'd utilized counseling and | | | | they saw in me that made them decide to explore |
| found some great relationship material which may | | | | further upon hearing those dreaded words - I spilled |
| have been published at the time. Ah well, | | | | them as quickly as I could reasonably bring it up in a |
| hindsight.During my dating stint post-divorce, some of | | | | conversation: |
| which was internet contact, I communicated with an | | | | ? Ahem. Whatever it was, I found that no one |
| interesting and attractive man. Sooner than later, I | | | | screamed "Exit, stage left!" and left me standing next |
| learned that he'd been married, and divorced, 5 times. | | | | to a little poof of smoke. Maybe they were |
| Warning, warning. DANGER, flailing my arms around in | | | | shellshocked too, and unable to move?Actually, they |
| robotic pantomime. I ended that direction in short order. | | | | asked pertinent questions regarding my divorces and |
| Obviously he wasn't good relationship material.I married | | | | listened to my explanations. I was very upfront with |
| again. That relationship of 6 years ended with his drug | | | | them concerning what I felt my part was in the |
| usage and an affair. Sometimes I can be surprisingly | | | | marriage demises, minus the ad nauseum. I also shared |
| dumb for as smart as I am? HE only had one divorce | | | | in a general way what I had learned. Dating excursions |
| behind him. Maybe I should have asked Mr. Fiver | | | | thus continued for awhile, with me feeling comfortable |
| different questions.Third marriage. And to my horror, | | | | that I wasn't dismissed as a relationship leper!Ever feel |
| THIRD DIVORCE.I felt shellshocked. And terribly | | | | like you're a relationship leper? Have you learned from |
| embarrassed. Memories of my fast judgement of Mr. | | | | past mistakes and able to articulate your past in a |
| Fiver came flooding back to me, how quickly I'd axed | | | | way that doesn't frighten prospective dates?Currently, |
| him without giving him a chance. With three divorces | | | | my (third) ex-husband and I have reconciled, and we |
| under my belt, I quailed at the thought of being similarly, | | | | had our divorce annulled. It's as if we were never |
| and immediately, axed without a chance to prove my | | | | divorced. I am very happy that we've resolved the |
| good character and relationship-worthiness. How | | | | problems that led up to our divorce...and relieved that |
| terribly unfair that would be. Although I take at least | | | | my score card dropped back to 3-2. Upon that |
| half the responsibility of my first divorce, nos. 2 and 3 | | | | realization came the next one: time to retire my score |
| were more the other's fault by a landslide. (We'll ignore | | | | card.Laura McDonald lives in Frankfort, KY, with her |
| the fact that I did waltz myself into those relationships, | | | | husband Patrick. She is a paralegal. Laura's interests |
| shall we? That's a topic for a different article!)I had | | | | include psychology, movies, music, and writing. She has |
| mental images of "go-see's" in front of potential dates. | | | | created a website called The Third Wives Club, |
| "I've been divorced three times," I imagined myself | | | | directed primarily to women married three or more |
| declaring, and then coughing up their dust as they ran | | | | times. |
| for the hills. Frankly, I wouldn't have blamed them.Now | | | | |