Dead Cats and My 35 Year Journey to Becoming an Artist

I am currently the proud ownee of two all American,not found a calling; I did not believe in myself. That was
genuine CATs. Both are just less than a year old.in *ahem* 1991. I dabbled in drawings over the years,
Roxie was a gift for my daughter's 6th birthday butmuch as I had all my life. Everyone loved them, but I
she proudly calls me hers. (She would have it no otherwas not satisfied. About three years ago, after much
way). And Turbo, who started out as my son's strayencouragement from my supporting family, I took a
rescue kitten from under our long parked Honda, has'continuing education' class that was a satellite of our
turned into his namesake. A compact powerhousecommunity college courses in pottery of all things. Just
with a purr that could shake windows, Turbo finds mesomething that I had never tried. I fell in love with the
the coziest place to nap. My two babies. My two toemud! Clay was everything that I couldn't express.
assassins.Somehow I was able to coax the feeling out of it that
Over the years I have realized that cats are perfectpaper could never give. Then I went from making pots
for someone like me. Busy, lazy, intense, quiet. All atto sculpting. Somehow it makes sense looking back;
differing bursts. Anything that can give you that muchmy mother and grandmother used to have a ceramic
intense love and attention and walk away like theyshop of their own. I didn't have much interest at the
don't really care anyway, commands my respect. I amtime because I was young; but I was there every day
sure you are the same. Tranquility that bursts intowith the dust and the smell of greenware and the firing
acrobatics all over the flicker of a shadow ("I am sure Ikilns. It must have sunk into my core.
saw something...") Cats are indeed my reflection onWhen my sister asked me to do a sculpture of her
many different levels.cat, it just made sense. My sister was crushed when
Actually, this is a reunion for me and cats. I had cats allher cat died. She had had that cat since we were
my life except for a stretch of eight years. (Has itboth in high school. When I found out that she had had
really been that long!?) None, except the ones in myher cat cremated, it only made sense that she would
head. Not until I began to express them in my art. Havebe able to place the ashes inside the cat I created in
you ever heard of the book "The Purpose Drivenher likeness. So my purpose, as it were, was revealed.
Life"?Why shouldn't everyone that loved their cat be able to
-This sounds really strange but is true. A little over 2memorialize them the same way? So I began the
years ago I had two joint surgeries (unrelated) both tojourney of the last few years. Now finally realizing that
left side extremities. One wrist and one knee. I hadpotential, I have a purpose for my art. Cats that are
eight weeks off work and received that book fromart, that are sculptures, that are urns, that are art. It lifts
someone I have never heard of in Missouri. I startedme every time I think of it. The healing that it can bring
reading through the book, wondering what it was andfor cat owners. To see a likeness of their cat. Not a
why I had been sent it. At the same time I was mullingbox or a jar with their cat's name. Something that can
over a request that my sister had made of me somebe placed in their favorite sunny spot or wear their
time before to do a sculpture of her cat. Thinking ofcollar.
how I would go about creating the sculpture. While thatI have toiled and collected and gathered and spent. I
was going on, her cat had to be euthanized and then Ihave sweated blood and tears and now I am there.
guess everything kind of came together for me.Standing on the brink. With a ball of clay in one hand
To understand what was happening, you mustand a computer mouse dangling in the other. I taught
understand that for YEARS I had floundered aroundmyself how to build a website and opened up for the
without any direction for my artistic skills. I had evenprying eyes of the public web. To be crawled over by
dropped out of college because-- I did not want to besearch engine "spiders" and Googled. But-- there is
an art teacher or a graphic artist. I had no idea what topurpose behind this I remind myself. And as if on cue,
do with my skill if I could even I could really own it ashere is Roxie. Jumped into my lap; purring and
that. Everyone else told me I was talented but I hadreminding me that it is worth it.