| Some things you have to learn the hard way. The | | | | 1. The following items can be easily become diapers, |
| legal limit refers to drinking and driving as well as | | | | should the situation arise: Paper towels, the morning |
| drinking then driving. If you have a hernia, WebMD isn't | | | | paper, T-shirts, and old blankets. The following items |
| going to cure you. It's easier to ask for forgiveness | | | | should never be used as diapers, should the situation |
| than for permission - until you're married, at which point | | | | arise: duffel bags, the sports section, hats, your |
| you're not going to get much of either. | | | | neighbor's lawn. |
| Fatherhood is no different. There are tricks of the | | | | 2. Here's a list of microwave safe materials: Glass, |
| trade that should be considered "on the job training." | | | | ceramics, many plastics, paper, cardboard. And now, |
| What do you do when the kid goes through diapers | | | | here's a list of things you should not put in the |
| like he's on a mission to disgust? How do you operate | | | | microwave, no matter how cool it would be: CDs, |
| the mystifying kitchen appliances to whip up a quick | | | | credit cards, soap, firecrackers, an Etch-a-Sketch, |
| meal? Who the hell are the Jonas Brothers and how | | | | diapers, hard-boiled eggs, another microwave. |
| do you get your daughter to stop shrieking? | | | | 3. Never leave a child unattended in the presence of |
| But when time is short, a little advanced know-how | | | | large animals, boiling water, high drops, or MTV. You |
| and creativity on the part of inexperienced fathers | | | | don't want to be known as the father who let |
| should keep the U.S.S Fatherhood sailing smoothly. | | | | exposed his kid to the Jersey Shore. |
| Without further ado: The top "on the job training" tips | | | | 4. When in doubt, repeat after me: "Ask your mother. |
| for the evolving father. | | | | |